I’ve been experiencing lots of light bulb moments recently. It’s a bit exhausting… and also really wonderful!
Before one of my Yoga classes this week I shared with the group that I had noticed I was feeling a bit angry. I could feel my demeanour was a little irritated and I could see that I was almost looking for a reason to pick a fight with someone. I didn’t share my ‘story’, the (perceived) reason for my anger. I just told them honestly how I was feeling.
It felt a bit risky actually. A Yoga Teacher taking about her anger before teaching a class might not be what you would expect (or want?). We had a little giggle about it. Chatted about how in society we’re not really encouraged to admit to these so called ‘negative’ emotions and joked about what kind of practice might be in store.
And then one of the group said that she found it refreshing to hear that I got angry as it gave her permission to be angry sometimes too.
And there it was!
Light bulb moment!
As Yoga Teachers we can fall into the trap of thinking we have to be ‘perfect’. To inspire other’s with our unflappability. This is spiritual bullshit! (ok still a bit angry then!) Pretending to be always serene and calm is inauthentic and potentially intimidating and disheartening for people who are making a sincere effort to reconnect with their truth and come to our classes as a part of that process.
We inspire by having the courage to be real. This doesn’t mean projecting our anger or behaving badly. It means allowing it, valuing it, owning it and admitting to it along with all the other facets of being human. It’s a fine line and its not easy to find the balance. It’s important to create safe space and the last thing we want to do as a Teacher is make the practice ‘about us’ … But, the people who have inspired me most in my life are not “perfect”. Far from it. They are people who have fallen and got up again, failed and tried again, made mistakes and learned from them. They are people who take responsibility for who they are and how they behave in the World. They are real.
I celebrate getting angry these days because for years I didn’t allow it. I’m welcoming Anger back into my heart as a loving friend and signpost showing me what I don’t want. A beautiful internal fire that challenges me to pursue my truth.
With sincere gratitude to all who come to my classes. You might think you are my students … but, in truth you are really my teachers.