I don’t know if I feel ready for you.
The last few years have been really challenging.
I want to
I don’t quite trust you to be any different.
Please prove me wrong.
2022 ripped out my heart and in so doing showed me how resilient I am.
2022 slapped me awake to myself and, in an instant strengthened my resolve to do better and be better.
2022 used the thing I feared the most as a tool to achieve this.
I am furious with 2022
At the same time
I appreciate that the me that is emerging from the ashes is maybe a little more evolved?
A little more willing to be seen
A little more willing to share her light
A little more true
As we meet for the first time I am painfully aware that you will never know Kali and she will not know you.
This makes me feel sad
You would have loved her!
I think this is part of my reluctance to embrace you.
As they say
‘Life goes on’
Indeed this is true.
In the spirit of being authentic and true
I’m not going to beat around the bush.
I’m not going to be polite and ‘spiritual’
(whatever it actually means to be ‘spiritual’)
I’m going to ask you directly for what I would like from you.
Are you ready?
Please return my vitality and enthusiasm back to me.
Please reignite my passion
Let my physical and mental health bloom
Shower me in energy to do the things I love and believe in.
Please inspire me with confidence and courage
To be who I really am in the World.
To stand up for the things I believe.
To say what I mean and mean what I say.
Encourage me to challenge injustice
Having compassion and respect for those who see life differently to me.
Please strengthen my discipline to live my values.
To make wise decisions that are nourishing for me, for others and for the Planet.
Keep on showing me ways that I can be useful and make a positive difference.
On a personal level
Please let my business thrive and diversify as I create new and exciting offerings.
Let this year be the year that I finally finish and publish my first book.
Let it be the year I launch online courses to compliment my in person classes.
Please show me financial abundance so that I can travel to the places I love to go to and explore new experiences.
Let me update my beautiful living space with colour and texture to reflect who I am now.
Please keep reminding me how wonderful my friends are and show me how to be a good friend.
If I may be so bold (and vulnerable)
I would like you to invite a conscious and suitable romantic partner into my life.
I think it’s time.
I believe ready to lean into intimate connection again.
I hope you agree.
I am cringing a little at these requests.
Some of them seem superficial.
I’m honestly not entirely comfortable saying these things out loud
At the same time
It feels important to risk being real this year
So I don’t take anything back.
I’m not going to pretend to be polite.
This is where I’m at right now.
This is what I want.
It’s time to be honest
I’m ready to emerge from the darkness, the striving and the struggle
It’s time for more lightness
Please show me the way